It takes a lot of effort to let go of failed relationships and heal yourself instead of letting these
complicated feelings linger. Follow these steps to learn how to adjust your mindset, break your ties with
your ex and enjoy your life again, and let the healing begin.

Give yourself time. It’s good to be sad about the end of the relationship. Whether you have been
together for a few months or have lived and shared great moments for years, you have the right to
express and show your hurt emotions.

Allow yourself to cry, reflect on the experience and accept that it is really over. Use this time to reflect.
Write down your feelings in a journal and get in touch with the reason why you feel that way. Giving
yourself time can help you get over the relationship faster.

Some people like to set an ‘expiry date’ for these bad emotions to go away. Of course, this does not
mean that you will forget all about the relationship at that point, but it does mean that you will make a
conscious effort to get over it.

Let go of your emotions. If you feel like crying in bed all day, go for it. If you want to cry or go to a friend
over all your frustrations, do so it. Just remember to do this for as long as possible, do not rush into a
new relationship in a week or even months just because you want to make your ex feel jealous.

Remind yourself of the reasons the relationship is over. It is natural for you to miss your ex and wish that
he/she was still by your side – after all, you are used to their presence, even if it was not always
comforting. But you need to stay strong and remind yourself why the relationship is over.

Although it hurts, try to think of a moment when you were deeply unhappy in the relationship. Write it
on a piece of paper or save it on your phone and carry it with you. Recall if you regret your decision or
wonder why you and your ex are no longer together.

Learn to Recognize Negative Thinking Patterns. Bitterness, guilt, and regret can cause exhausting
emotional stress if you are trying to overcome a relationship. However, you can teach yourself to
recognize bitter thought patterns, write them down and examine them later and check if they still
trigger memories. If you can determine the things that cause you an emotional trauma or stress you can
learn to walk around it.

Read your journal repeatedly as if it belongs to someone else. What does this other person look like?
What advice would you give them? What should they avoid to let go of this pain?
When you think of the word or phrase (maybe your ex’s name, maybe a specific place or concept), you
hurt yourself. Have a mantra or song prepared to be recited or listened to as a way to interrupt yourself
and reward yourself for avoiding the negative thought.

Avoid Self-Destructive Behavior. If you just smoke because you feel angry about a relationship, nothing
will help you feel better about yourself. Enjoying self-loathing that takes the form of alcohol or drugs will
only provoke the grieving process because you will have to start all over again.

If this is a distraction you’re looking for, why not make it a healthy alternative Instead of smoking, try
taking a walk, talking to a friend or picking up an old instrument you’ve lost contact with.
Stop communicating with your ex. Stop texting or calling. Do not try to have an awkward lunch with your
ex once a week. Although you may one day be friends with your ex, it should be after you have learned
to be apart. The potential for harm at this point is huge, and communicating with your ex will make it
much harder for you to let go of the relationship.

If you have to stop seeing your mutual friends for a while, do so. If you really want to see them, hang out
with them by making special plans. You are not cowardly in doing so – you are only protecting yourself.
Also, look for new social venues – there are plenty of bars, restaurants and parks to explore without
emotions attached.

If you run into your ex, you do not have to run in the other direction. Be mature and greet, but you do
not have to stop to have a painful conversation with him/her.
Stay away from social media for a while. While you may be tempted to login on to Facebook to see if
there are photos of your ex with a new treasure(new girlie or boy), it will prolong your pain and even
make you feel obsessed.

Even if you are determined not to contact your ex on social media, you can not stop wondering if you
have seen your latest photos or your latest post. Do not get back on social media until the thought of
seeing your ex’s photo does not make you feel an intense spark of emotions.

Alternatively, try blocking your ex or making him “unfriendly”. This can be a very tangible way to
indicate that the relationship is over.
Get rid of things that remind you of your ex. Do a relationship thrash can cleaning. If you can not stand
to throw it away completely, put it in a garbage bag in the back of your closet. Even if the T-shirt your ex
bought for you during your first date at a store is your favorite item, throw it in a bag with everything
else.

If you have a few things that belong to your ex – sweatshirts, books, electronics – send them back
immediately. You can have a friend download it to reduce the pain. Improve, decorate, make your place
your own. Especially if you lived together, get rid of old things, even if it does not remind you of your ex.
The hard part is to get to work with all of this, it may seem hard at first but after some few days or
months or years, you would be able to get rid of this haunting emotion.